I’ll go ahead and preface this post with this sentiment: I’ve prayed over these words. I want to be able to help someone who has felt these thoughts before. I want the girl reading this to know its okay to have to size up, or eat a piece of pizza. But I also want her to know that its okay to take care of her body. To treat it well, give it what it needs to be nourished, and to get up and move. Some days I’m the girl I’m speaking to. Some days I need that bit of encouragement, I need to mental shift to go from one perspective to a different one. And then some days I know that this is the body God has given me. I only have one shot to be a servant of His here on earth and if I DON’T treat this body well then that chance may get cut short.
So now that I’ve said all that, lets get into the deets. I quickly typed this up in the airport a few days ago, more-so just putting my thoughts down. As of late, I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. My weight has definitely fluctuated the last 7 years or so. I was never thin, I always carried a little extra weight with me. Nothing that made me unhealthy. Then toward the end of high school, I lost a TON of weight very rapidly. I battled with an eating disorder of sorts. I’ve never discussed the details with a professional so i don’t want to go into too much detail, but essentially it was an extremely unhealthy relationship with food. You get the jist.
After I recovered from that, I started gaining weight. Not much at first. I think being happy had a little to do with the gain. Over the course of a few years I realized I had gained 50 pounds, which is honestly insane. I noticed my clothes didn’t fit as well, and I was eating way more take out than one person needed to. Which brings us to today.
When I first started noticing the weight gain, my mind went to “diet”. I’ve never stuck with any sort of diet. I don’t like things being “off limits”, and considering I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with food in the past, if I cut something out I just end up binging it. So I researched various ways to get healthy. I knew ultimately I just wanted to feel good. If i carry a few extra pounds, so be it. I came across intuitive eating and it blew my mind. I discovered it through Becca Bristow, she’s a RD and she makes youtube videos going into every thing you could want to know about intuitive eating.
Okay so I’ve detailed MY relationship with food and body image. But what’s the take away? Some random girl on the internet gained weight. Great. Thats not the take away though. If you’ve gained weight, or lost weight, or are struggling with what you see in the mirror, please please please know that all of our bodies are created DIFFERENTLY! Your girlfriend has blonde hair and blue eyes, you have brown hair and brown eyes. So why would you think your bodies would be identical also? We’re not made to be the same!
Instead of hating how you’re different from others, love the skin you’re in. I don’t want this to get confused with me saying “devour a whole pizza and you’ll be great” because it’s not. I’m just trying to convey the message that God created you to be you. No matter what you look like, that is how He intended for you to be. Please love your body. Please love yourself. Speak kind words to yourself. And when you look in the mirror, focus on your favorite things instead of what you wish to change.
As always, this was extremely rambley. I apologize but hopefully you’re able to get what I’m trying to say. If you’re ever in need of some encouragement, prayer, or someone to talk to, my DMs are always open. And if you’re struggling on a deeper level, please seek professional help. Whether it be a doctor, RD, or a therapist.
Until next time